day one – day one hundred and nineteen
I have a draft, somewhere, called vancouver day one; about how I lost it twelve hours into it in the aisles of a Safeway, about how the hotel room felt safe, about how I had fifteen books with me. About how I made my way to the water almost by accident and knew when I found it that it would be alright.
When I first passed through customs they asked me how long I was planning on staying and I had no idea, other than the fact that by June at the latest I would be gone. They were asking for an exact number of days, though, so I picked a random date and worked it out backwards, told them one hundred and forty-four.
I took myself out for a burrito at my favorite place and ate it by the waterfront, and walked the entire sea wall which I hadn’t done until then, and took lots of terrible pictures because it is Spring, now, and I have never seen this city in bloom. I returned to English Bay because I am a sucker for things coming full circle; for a moment I breathed and I remembered the girl who stood there, four months ago, and breathed too.
My hair is longer and I have a new shirt; a green and white striped thing that I love because I usually never wear color. I don’t think I have changed much, at all. It has been nice to just be, for the past months. To settle.