off-kilter

on

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Today started late and without a plan, both which throw me off. It felt fragile, this morning, unbalanced and off-kilter and uncomfortable, and I didn’t like it.

Usually I stay stuck in it, but I am in Oahu, and that was an excuse enough perhaps to take it into my own hands to try and pull myself out of this funk. So at twelve I got up and showered and brushed my teeth and put on my bathing suit and took myself out.

I walked twenty minutes to a new-to-me beach and plopped my butt into the sand and for four hours I only moved to switch sides or to dip into the water.

The thing when you travel alone, I learnt, is that you don’t have anyone to watch your stuff while you are swimming and to slather sunscreen on that part of your back that you can’t reach yourself. I am now like every other white tourist in Waikiki in that I am sporting my own scarlet sunburn.

I people-watched and found the tiniest seashells ever, pink and minuscule, and dunked my head under turquoise water and did nothing but sleepily exist.

I went to Food Pantry, afterwards, and treated myself to the tiniest luxury I have been indulging in since I have got here : a dollar fifty bottle of ICE flavoured sparkling water. It is the best.

*

I like this photograph. It is a terrible picture, but I like my face on it. The wild hair, the sleepy face, the sparkle in my eye. I am tired and low-key off-balance but I am also happy, and a little bit peaceful.

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